Monday, 20 August 2007

To the dearest...

August 10, '06

To the dearest...

Emerald Eyes
Now shut tight.
Swift movements,
they've neutralized.
Away from the wretched
lay she there,
Nose between paws,
Breathless... bare...
A softish grey,
Sparks of silver,
A hum of sound,
Then one last quiver.
Somewhere pleasant,
a place unknown,
There she lay
cold to the bone.
These tragedies
and hurtful things
come back to us,
the good-souled beings..
We miss you terribly
my love, my dear.
May those emerald eyes
always stay clear..

Cleo, we miss you, we love you and we will never forget the joy you brought to us all..


July 13

It’s another one of those days, I thought to myself. One more day where all I’ll want is something warm, knowing it isn’t there and I won’t get it for a while now. Listen to yourself, Joanne, you’re going crazy… But how can I help myself? Doesn’t everyone want permanent shelter?
I looked out the window. Snow. Three feet high.
It was definitely one of those days.
I put on another layer of clothing hoping that would make me a little warmer. I walked into the study and looked around. The only thing that hadn’t caught dust was that black photo frame. The books, the shelves, the bottles, all dusty. I glanced at the frame. I could feel it somewhere at the back of my mind, trying to surface, and then I could feel myself holding it all back. Poison, that’s what it was. Just another wicked poison.

An hour later I risked the white. Put on some snow shoes and made my way down the deserted street. All windows were shut, all stores closed, and everyone inside their houses. Just the way I liked it.
Brisk, cold winds blew past my ears, blowing my uncovered hair into my face.
“Joanne dear,” I heard the wind say, “get home, Jo, home”
I walked another two blocks. Dragged my feet into the park and trudged my way to a bench. I wiped the snow off and sat down.
“Joanne” it said again, “home, Joanne”

I thought about it again. I thought about why I had cleaned only that one picture in my beautiful study and why I had left all my other wonderful books covered in webs of dirt. Ignorance is bliss, they say, but ignoring my books didn’t give me any happiness. It made me colder.
“Joanne, my love,”
Was it because I still longed for it?
“get yourself home, love”
Was it because I missed it? Because it caught my eye?
“Joanne! Go home!”
Because I wanted him back from…

A bird came and sat on my lap, bringing me out of my peaceful oblivion. I decided to head home. “Hurry Jo, hurry…” I heard it say. Nonsense, it seemed like nothing but nonsense.
I climbed the stairs to the 7th floor because the elevator was down due to the heavy snow. Three and a half feet now.
I took out my keys, put them in, and opened the door.
Everything spun. Everything.
“I told you Jo, I told you to get home”
A heaving pain rose from my chest, ran through my body and stopped all of a sudden. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t feel.
“It’s too late Jo. You heard the doctor. Exactly three months is what he said Jo. Three months if you didn’t stay in there Jo. I’m sorry Jo. It’s over. I’ll never forget you Jo. I love you Jo. I wish you took me out of that frame Jo.”

The Unknown

April 11

The end is for you to imagine. Maybe i'll continue it or let the end dangle. For now, imagine it as suddenly seeing through the eyes of someone else. Figure out the rest for yourself.
Once again, this is in no way connected to my life!


I walked through the shadowy corridor, rain pounding on the rooftops outside. If I looked straight ahead, dim rays of light told me it was still morning. It had been raining for three days…

“Progress, regress, it’s all the same,
I keep moving on.
I watch the day move slowly by
And live my life till dawn.”

I turned right into another much smaller corridor. Third door on the left, it said. The door was painted completely black. Just the way I like it. I inserted the key, turned it and pushed. Normally, that’s how you open a door.

“I have an eye everywhere,
In front and on the back,
To watch for things that lurk,
To find the things I lack.”

A bed, two lights, two chairs and a window. That was the most furniture I had seen in three days, being stuck between two buildings, living off things that were not rightfully mine. But I had to find him. I had started the search and I was not going to stop because of some stupid weather change.

I took out the piece of paper from my pocket. It was a little wet but Nev had used his head; he had used a ball pen. The address of this apartment was on it. “Second right, third door on the left. Hope you like it. Left something under the bed because I know you will come looking for me.” That was all it said.

“We perceive the world as rough and tough,
Though we know it can deceive.
We move along like a gentle breeze,
Through us, the thorns will weave.”

I took out the package from under the bed. Opened it and found about hundred bucks. “Eat something!” the note said. Then something else fell out. It was an invite from a Mr. O’Donnel to Nev. There was a symbol on the bottom left. I had seen it somewhere. I couldn’t place it though. Anyway, I had another day. The meeting was taking place tomorrow evening. I quickly took out my notepad and continued my writing…

“When life is lost, no clue left behind,
The first thought would be to pray,
But if He too had let you go,
Remember, you made it through yesterday.”

The Beauty and the B*tch

April '05

The Beauty and the B*tch

She held my hand and walked me to shelter. She stood by me through times of pain. She heard me talk; she listened well.

Then she went and she whispered to another, a soft giggle escaping after each sentence. Eyes stared, eyes glared. I turned a cold shoulder. More whispered, more murmured, more giggled. I pretended to ignore. Some asked, some wondered, some worried. Most laughed, most stared, most glared.

Then one came to me, concerned. She looked at me with compassion in her eyes. She saw I was hurt. She knew there was something wrong. It took me time to realize that she knew.

She held my hand and walked me to shelter. She stood by me through times of pain. She heard me talk; she listened well.

Then she told me to look away from the others. She told me to be myself. She told me I was my own person. She told me that actually, I was really happy. I turned a cold shoulder. She still insisted. Then I looked at her and asked her why no one saw what she saw. She said that it was because they know only how to whisper. She said they knew only how to stare and glare. She said they were nobodies, they were jealous of being able to feel. She said they didn’t understand that others can feel. I appreciated her. I thanked her. I became her friend.

I took her hand and walked her to shelter. I stood by her through times of pain. I heard her talk; she said I was a good listener.
I found a friend. Everyone else still whisper, still murmur, still stare, still glare, still giggle, still ask, still wonder…


It shook the ground,
My head span round
As the toaster fell on the floor.
The oven blew,
The toaster flew
All the way out the door!
The lamps fell,
So did the bell
That hung near my loo!
The deodorant sprayed,
The dragon slayed
‘Coz the knight had caught the flu!
The dog yelped,
The cat helped
And they did it both together.
The fridge fell down,
And squirted the clown
That wasn’t feeling any better!
I moved away,
Nothing to say
And a headache that grew with time.
The cops came in,
And shot the dustbin
That was trying to commit a crime.
They picked me up,
And gave me my cup
That had hit them with a broom.
But what did I miss
That caused all this
With just one big Boom!